All Posts in "The Senior Scene"

By Andrea McGinty

Had you been in your 60s in the 1990s, it was a tough go at dating after a divorce, widowhood, or an ended long-term relationship.  When I began matchmaking in in 1991 in my 20s, there were really no great options for singles in their 60s. Then came online dating.  As it reached the 2010s, many online platforms had figured out their niche, and the over 1,400 dating sites/apps present today offer many options to senior singles. It’s a good era to be single and looking for love.

So, ready to get started?  Here are eight tips:

  1.  Adventure.
    You need a sense of adventure for this journey. There will be nervousness, anxiety, excitement. Because this is the new norm!
  2.  Age is only a chronological thing.
    Get over that you are 66 or 62 or 71; age is just a number.  I have clients in their 60s that are much more active than singles in their 40s.  Advantage to you—you have the time to date and more flexibility than the younger crowd.
  3. 2020s—not the 1990s.
    Men and woman 50 to 75 have flocked to online dating, and there are about a dozen sites that cater to this age group. Were this the ‘90s, what would you have done?  Relied on married friends to fix you up on dates? The reality is that they don’t know many singles; frankly, they just don’t get this whole online thing, either.  Remember, the biggest pool of potential singles you have ever met was college, perhaps grad school, maybe the workplace. Not any more.  48 percent of Americans are single—that’s 128 million people, and many are online. 
  4.  Stylists at Nordstrom are free.
    What to wear on your first date or for your photos?  Two of my clients—Jack, 61, and Michael, 68–recently went to Nordstrom and had a stylist (yep, it’s free) pick out some outfits for them that were age-appropriate and trendy.  Gone were the cargo shorts and ill-fitting khakis.  Both Facetimed me from Nordstrom showing me their new duds—and they looked great.  What a confidence boost we know a bit of retail therapy can make.
  5. New haircut or look.

My mom once said to me the only constant in life is change and I better get used to it! Savvy mom. Yes, ladies, a trip to a hair stylist could be the key.  While I’m absolutely not a proponent of heavy makeup, all the beauty counters offer free makeovers—just tell them you are going for a natural look that can go from day to night.

  • Don’t overshare your new adventure with friends/family.

Ok, talk about the negative Nellies.  You’ll hear everything from “Oh, I tried online dating and they were all weird and it was horrid” to “Oh, you’re not desperate—why would you engage in this?”  Let me be direct:  They have no idea what they are talking about.  Working with my clients online for over 50 hours a week, being on the sites with them, I can tell you there are “normal” and “awesome” men and women online–about 95 percent of them.  And as to that old theory that men in their 60s want women in their 30s and 40s—wrong.   Eighty percent want a woman around their own age.

  • Hire a dating coach.
    She will be your cheerleader, be honest and graciously direct with you (unlike your best friend), know what works, choose the right site for you, write your profile, select exciting photos of you, and help craft messages to get those first dates.
  •  First-date topics.
    Keep it light, friendly, positive.  Easy topics are where did you grow up, movies, books, family, interests, etc.  No talk of exes (yes, we all have them), acrimonious or amicable divorces, horror stories about dates, or negativity. Current events are always interesting, as long it’s not about divisiveness and politics.  

Andrea McGinty is the founder of It’s Just Lunch, a dating service. She sold it and founded 33000Dates.com, and specializes in singles who are in their 50s, 60s and 70s.

The Senior Scene by — June 25, 2024 in Lifestyle, Home, Adventures

The Manitou neighborhood, a landlocked “island” sandwiched between Tacoma and University Place but not a part of either city, is now in Tacoma.

The City Council-approved annexation of Manitou took effect April 1, adding to the Tacoma’s west side the 37-acre area that is bounded by Lakewood Drive West, 65th Street West, 70th Street West, and the city-Pierce County border to the east of 52nd Avenue W.

Officials said information about the annexation was provided to Manitou residents and businesses well ahead of the neighborhood’s transfer of control from Pierce County to the city.
Mayor Victoria Woodards said the new addition will have the same access to city services ad the rest of Tacoma.

The Senior Scene by — June 25, 2024 in News
Will Ryan House stay or go?

(Pictured: The Ryan House in better days, before it was declared unsafe by Sumner city officials and scheduled for demolition).

Demolition of a historic former residence in Sumner is on hold while the city’s plans receive a court-ordered review.

On March 13, Pierce County Superior Court judge ruled in favor of citizens who filed a land-use petition against the proposed demolition of Ryan House. The judge rescinded the demolition permit and directed the city for additional public notice on the project through the its  Comprehensive Plan amendment process, which is scheduled to end later this year with a City Council decision on land-use, growth, and development policies. An eventual ruling on whether the demolition can proceed is pending.

Officials said the city will follow the court order but noted the reason for demolishing the building hasn’t changed: That it can only be saved if money is available to repair “significant structural issues” that are necessary to make it safe and meet current building codes.

The council voted last September the building house and convert the property to a city park. A group of citizens called Save the Ryan House fought the decision in court and is part of an effort to obtain funding and backing to preserve the house. So far, about about $1 million from local and countywide tax revenue has been generated, but city officials maintain the repairs are too expensive and house is beyond saving.

The Sumner Historical Society has called Ryan House, which dates to the 1870s in one form or another, possibly the oldest structure in the city. It was home for one of the city’s pioneer families and has served at various times as a post office, a store, a public library, and most recently as a museum run by the Historical Society. 

The Senior Scene by — June 19, 2024 in News
Old and young hearts beat as one

(Pictured: Lola Hawkins (left) and Charlie Edgar (second from right) are among the Gig Harbor Hiogh School students who do crafts, play games, and socialize with residents of an assisted-living and memory-care community.)

What Maya Joshi started in Chicago has spread halfway across the country to Gig Harbor.

Joshi, who is now attending Princeton University, was a high school freshman when she founded Lifting Hearts with the Artsin 2020 as a non-profit organization connecting high school students (virtually at first) with residents of assisted-living facilities, nursing homes, and other care communities populated with older adults. The effort to brighten the elders’ lives started after the COVID-19 outbreak and ensuing pandemic put seniors in danger medically and isolated them, all detrimental to their emotional and physical well-being. Four years later, many seniors still experience social isolation, and Lifting Hearts is still doing something about it.

Students volunteer to visit and socialize with seniors in groups or one-on-one. Creative activities such as painting, drawing, weaving and knitting, board games, listening to live music, and trivia games have expanded beyond virtual hookups to in-person gatherings.

Since its start in Illinois, Lifting Hearts has added chapters in Nevada, California, Michigan, and in Washington, where Gig Harbor High School students have become familiar faces for the residents at Gig Harbor Court, an assisted-living and memory-care community. Young and old do hands-on crafts together, chat, and simply enjoy the company.

Every get-together ends with residents “thanking us and telling us how they look forward to us coming again,” said Laura Wrolson, one of the students.

Joshi said the feeling is mutual.

“There’s so much that we as youth can learn from seniors, and I think it’s just as valuable for seniors to learn about younger generations, as well,” she said. Art and music are “amazing ways of bringing together youth and seniors of different backgrounds and lived experiences to form new friendships.”

According to the National Institutes of Health, more than 8 million people in the U.S. receive long-term care, and approximately 1 million live in nursing homes. For them and others, Joshi said, participating in creative activities adds variety to life and an opportunity for expression and communication—all good for stimulating the brain, improving mood, and reducing stress.

Wrolson, who doubles as president of Lifting Hearts’ Washington chapter, shared the thoughts and experiences of her and her Gig Harbor classmates in the following Q and A:

How or why did you become interested in Lifting Hearts with the Arts?

“I started volunteering during my freshman year. It seemed like the perfect way to interact with people in my community and give me experience that I couldn’t get anywhere else–getting to talk and work with an older generation. I haven’t had any experience with seniors quite like it. Talking one-on-one and making art with them is an incredible thing to be a part of and is unlike anything else that I’ve done. This is such a great opportunity for students to have.” 

Are all of the volunteers students?

“Most are all students at Gig Harbor High. They’re also a part of the school’s Interact Club, which is how we let people know about our upcoming events.”

How many students are involved?

“At a typical event there will be about 8 or 10 volunteers, but we’ve had events with 15 or 20.” 

What’s the reaction been like from residents? Can you share any anecdotes?

“Our March event celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with a themed craft. We have events at Gig Harbor Court once a month. The reaction from the residents is always incredible, and we have new people joining us every month. At the last event, we had a few new residents come and do our craft. I was able to talk with one of the new people for over an hour about her life and hobbies, sharing stories about her passion for horses and how that has remained a love of hers. At the end of an event, it always ends with the seniors thanking us for coming and telling us how they look forward to us coming again. As chapter leader, any time I talk with the employees, they all share remarks about how grateful they are that we can come and how the residents always look forward to seeing us and doing new and fun crafts. It feels so great to know that the residents enjoy the events as much as the volunteers do.”

What’s best—activities virtually or in-person?

“Since I joined over two years ago, our visits have all been in-person. When I first started coming to events, COVID was still a large risk, which is why we would wear masks and maintain safe distances. More recently, we’ve been able to move away from the masks and have all events in-person. We’re extremely grateful to be able to do that, because doing it virtually wouldn’t be the same.”

The Senior Scene by — June 19, 2024 in Spotlight