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People write poems about mom, name their kids after her and even sport tattoos in her honor. And now the results of a national survey could be making mothers  feel even more special by revealing that most adult children would prefer mom if either of their parents had to move in with them.

To be precise, 70 percent of grown offspring who responded to the poll don’t want their parents moving in with them at all. But if they had to take in one or the other, 67 percent would pick mom over dad.

The survey of more than 1,100 adults (776 women and 342 men, all 40 and older with both parents living) was commissioned by Visiting Angels, an in-home senior care company with more than 450 offices throughout U.S., including Tacoma. In addition to Tacoma, nearby communities where services are available include Federal Way, Kent, Port Orchard and Puyallup.

Visiting Angels reported the survey shows that children of aging parents want to do well by them but haven’t made plans for them.

“Children don’t want their parents to move in, but they will do whatever it takes to take care of them, even if it means picking up the tab,” says Larry Meigs, chief executive officer of Visiting Angels.

According to Visiting Angels, survey respondents prefer mom because she’d help more than dad with cooking and cleaning and the kids, be neater and be a better listener. Counting against dad would be worse hygiene, more likely to say inappropriate things, sloppier and lazier, and more likely to want to  control the TV.

When asked what they fear about one or both parents moving in, respondents most often answered “Not enough room, “Lack of privacy,” “It would cause conflict” and “less intimacy with partner.”

Forty-one percent say they would prefer their parents remain in their own home with a caregiver, instead of moving them in to their home (31 percent) or moving them to an assisted living facility (17 percent) or nursing home (2 percent). More than half (58 percent) believe their aging parents would prefer to stay in their own home.

On the subject of money concerns, two-thirds of the survey participants (66 percent) said they can’t afford to move their parents in with them. Yet 51 percent would move them in, anyway. And 85 percent  say getting more of their parents’ inheritance wouldn’t influence their decision to open their home to mom and/or dad. 

 “People prefer their parents stay in their own home surrounded by the things that make them feel comfortable and safe,” said Meigs, whose company sends caregivers “into the home to help with everything from meal preparation to light housekeeping. It gives everyone peace of mind without causing conflict.”

The survey reveals many children, while well-intentioned concerning their parents’ eventual need for care, have no game plan. Most said they also haven’t had a conversation with their parents about the type of care they want as they age.

Some respondents also say the question of who should take care of mom or dad could cause conflicts with a parent a sibling or a spouse. 

As for who bears the most responsibility for aging parent, 32 percent of respondents say the child that lives closest, 27 percent give it to a sibling who has less family responsibility by being unmarried or childless, and 19 percent say the child with the most money.

“There can be a lot of conflict in families over how to care for aging parents. Part of the problem is that most families decide when it’s too late. Emotions take over and it’s difficult to think logically and clearly,” said Meigs. “You need to meet now with your parents and siblings to decide on a solution that appeals to everyone involved. Often, the family will agree that the best solution is in-home care where parents can stay at home and get the care they need without overly burdening anyone in the family.”

END

"Not enough room" is the reason most survey respondents gave for not wanting their parents to move in with them. (Courtesy photo)
“Not enough room” is the reason most survey respondents gave for not wanting their parents to move in with them. (Courtesy photo)
srmedia by — July 24, 2013 in Lifestyles

Cherry Cherry will perform its Neil Diamond tribute show at free outdoor concerts July 18 in Puyallup and July 24 in Des Moines. (Courtesy photo)
Cherry Cherry will perform its Neil Diamond tribute show at free outdoor concerts July 18 in Puyallup and July 24 in Des Moines. (Courtesy photo)

Like being outside and listening to music on summer evenings? Several cities in Pierce County and south King County can fill the bill with outdoor concert series this month and continuing into August.

The concerts are free and staged in city parks. Audiences are encouraged to bring blankets or folding chairs. They can bring food, too. Some of the locations will also have food and beverage vendors.

•  In Des Moines, the lineup on Wednesdays at 7 p.m. at Beach Park Meadow includes Sway on July 11, the Kings of Swing on July 17, Cherry Cherry on July 24, Just One Look on July 31, Des Moines Got Talent on Aug 7, and Mambo Cadillac on Aug. 14.

•  In Lakewood, Del Vallee Park at 6:30 p.m. on Thursdays will host Doo Wah Riders July 11, Hot August Night July 18, Rodeo Drive July 25, The Whooligans Aug. 1, and Knyght Rider Aug. 8.

•  In Puyallup, the lineup at Pioneer Park at 6:30 p.m. on Thursdays is The Afrodisiacs on July 11, Cherry Cherry on July 18, Freddy Pink on July 25, Dueling Pianos on Aug. 1, Bullet Creek on Aug. 8, Darren Motamedy on Aug. 15,  and Larry Jones on Aug. 22.

•  In University Place, shows at 6:30 p.m. on Thursdays at Curran Apple Orchard Park include St. Paul de Vence July 11, Campfire OK July 25, Maia Santell Aug. 8 and the Washington National Guard 133rd Army Band Aug. 22.

•  In Gig Harbor at Skansie Park, it’s the New Blues Brothers on July 9, the Army National Guard Band on July 16, The Beatniks on July 23, Stever Stefanowitz and Too Many Cooks on July 30, Bump Kitchen on Aug. 6, Rye and Barley on Aug. 13, and Kim Archer Band on Aug. 20.

srmedia by — July 2, 2013 in Lifestyles

If you are spending part of your summer in the company of grandchildren, take the time off from school to honor your grandchild’s imagination and grow his or her creative thinking. As an “elder” of your “tribe,” you have the wisdom that comes from the long view. And the good news is that neuroscience now shows that many things we know from experience are indeed really important to growing young minds. Use these knowings to create meaningful, valuable and fun-filled activities this summer. Here are a few essentials:

Take play seriously.

Play is at the heart of creativity. When you play, you combine and recombine bits and pieces from old idea collections, maybe adding something new (anything from a hat to a stencil to a rowboat), spinning what-if’s and maybe-then’s. You move from your linear mind into your more intuitive body—and let your imagination have full reign. Play gives children a chance to rehearse, direct, invent, imitate, fantasize, try on, try out, experiment, rethink, rearrange, start over, express and explore—all very important for developing imaginative skills and fluency of ideas. Innovators consistently acknowledge the power of play in their own lives. So pretend. Role play with another person. Get hands-on and hands-in. Get a move on and play in the real world. It matters.

Focus on the senses.

We think in more than one way: we think in pictures, in sound, in movement. We think spatially, kinetically, texturally. We literally think with our whole bodies. Use the building blocks of these ways of thinking, the Sensory Alphabet (line, shape, rhythm color, space, light, movement, sound and texture), to inspire your activities with grandkids this summer. Ironically, it is educating the senses that provide the richest foundation for working creatively with the images, icons, and video that pour out of the screens of digital media. These are future-oriented skills children need more than ever.

Our book, The Missing Alphabet, A Parents’ Guide to Developing Creative Thinking in Kids has more than 65 pages of activities matched to the Sensory Alphabet. Consider making one of the nine the focus for a week during your summer of fun. Here’s a sample of a few ideas from the book with summertime written all over them:

·         Explore MOVEMENT at the zoo. Collect the individual movements of animals, reptiles and birds with line drawings or with a digital camera. Copy animal movements with your own body—big cats, flying birds, excited monkeys, huge elephants and so on. Back at home, invent an animal movement game (like Charades), using as many ways of moving as you can remember.

·         Explore SHAPE at the museum. Make sculpture the focus of your museum visit. Count how many different ways artists make human body shapes in their sculpture. Make a collection of photos or sketches as you look for shapes. Back at home, make sculpture inspired by your museum visit with different shape-making materials like boxes, clay, wood scraps, stuffed fabric shapes or cookie dough.

·         Explore SPACE around the neighborhood. Take a walk around the block and find all the interesting hiding spaces you can spot along your route. At home find your best hiding place, your favorite size of space, your pet’s favorites too. Make a collection of empty boxes for building, stacking, sorting. Design a playhouse from a refrigerator box or two.

Use “scratch” materials.

In this era of tablets and smart phones and an app for every appetite, it’s easy to forget that high-touch experiences are important for cognitive development — and essential for play, the touchstone of imagination. Be sure to include things like mud, clay, water, flour paste, cookie dough, things to take apart and put back together, blocks, costumes and masks, movement toys and sound instruments in your summer “things to do.”  Experiences in nature, even if that nature is just one of the city’s wild-space parks or walking trails, are also essential to a child’s development, and current research shows, important for us adults too.

Go with the grain.

While each person — no matter his or her age — has a constellation of Sensory Alphabet strengths, your grandchild probably has one or two that really stand out. These are the things that you notice in his or her artwork, in what your grandchild pays attention to, likes to play around with, and in the particulars of his or her collections and activities.  When you use these proclivities to help you plan summer fun, you’re more likely to find that your grandchild feels successful, retains more from the experiences, and has more fun.

Feedforward.

The field called Creative Learning is developing too slowly in the educational world for every child to benefit now. While this can be a frustrating fact of life, you’ll know that the summertime adventures you invent along these lines are giving your grandchild a headstart on the kinds of innovative thinking skills the future will require.

 

Susan Marcus and Susie Monday, who wrote this article,

Hands-on activities are one of the ways grandchildren can enjoy and learn new things from grandparents. (Courtesy photo)
Hands-on activities are one of the ways grandchildren can enjoy and learn new things from grandparents. (Courtesy photo)

are co-authors along with Dr. Cynthia Herbert of The Missing Alphabet, A Parents’ Guide to Developing Creative Thinking in Kids.

Contributing Author by — June 7, 2013 in Lifestyles

Northwest Sinfonietta is in its 22nd season. (Northwest Sinfonietta photo)
Northwest Sinfonietta is in its 22nd season. (Northwest Sinfonietta photo)

Early arrivals mingle in the lobby, waiting for the doors to open for seating. Conversation is a lively hum. A small crowd gathers at the table where subscriptions for next season are being sold. The doors open and the lobby begins to clear as ushers make sure that every one knows where to find their seats.
As the lights slowly dim, late arrivals quickly settle into their seats. The audience hears the usual words of welcome, as well as a brief message about future seasons. Then, with the opening notes of Sibelius’ “Romance,” the Northwest Sinfonietta (NWS) begins its mid-season (February) concert at its home base, Tacoma’s beautiful Rialto Theater.
This 22nd season began in October with an extraordinary concert experience. To fully understand its significance, we have to go back to January 2012, when NWS and some of its patrons made an historical trip to Cuba, only the third time since 1959 this was done by a U.S. orchestra.
While in Cuba, the NWS realized that a special bond had been forged by working together with the music and their host orchestra, Orquesta de Cámara Concierto Sur (Concert Orchestra of the South). Although Orquestra is comprised of talented musicians— graduates of the National Art School, The Instituto Superior de Arte (Havana), and professors at the Benny Moré School of the Arts—this group of Cuban musicians had never traveled off the island. So it was with special excitement that the Orquesta later managed to travel from Cuba to Tacoma to join the NWS chamber orchestra for its season opener in October 2012.
That opening night became unforgettable. It began with Latin rhythms and a Spanish suite. Then the two orchestras were joined by two local choral groups and their soloists, bringing down the house with Beethoven’s Ninth. In this opening program, NWS demonstrated what it means to fulfill its mission statement: “To inspire people through music and invigorate the concert experience through excellence, innovation, accessibility, versatility and relevance.”
Although the die had been previously cast, this current season reinforces the NWS goal to include something new or challenging (or both) in each concert. For example, in the second concert of the season, NWS premiered piano originals, some written in the last few years, gathered together and played as Sinfonietta #1. In a note from the composer, Bill Doerrfeld, we learn that he “consider(s) this an entirely new four-movement work.” Closing that concert was Cecile Licad at the piano, playing Chopin. A child prodigy at the age of 3, Ms. Licad has become a favorite not only in her natal country, the Philippines, but also internationally.
Coming back to the February concert, NWS was the first U.S. orchestra to play Beethoven’s string orchestra version of Piano Concerto No. 4 in G, Opus 58. This was the U.S. premiere performance of a string version only recently found and authenticated as at least approved by Beethoven himself if not actually written by him in the string version. The masterful solo piano work of Andreas Klein so moved the audience that a standing ovation lasted beyond our ability to continue clapping.
Cuban music comes to the stage again in April. Christophe Chagnard, one of the founders of NWS and currently its music director, composed “Embargo, Suite Cubano,” which will be premiered in the April program. And the final program of the season, in May, will feature violin artistry of Mayuko Kamio, an International Tchaikovsky Gold Medalist.
It is thought by some that the current 2012-13 season is the most ambitious yet for this 35-person chamber group. In part, ambition is engendered by the fact Northwest Sinfonietta is the only professional chamber orchestra with multiple residencies. The concerts are usually in the second weekend of the months of October through May. On Friday night, NWS is heard at Benaroya in Seattle; on Saturday it plays at its home base, the Rialto in Tacoma; and most recently there are Sunday matinees at Pioneer Park Pavilion in Puyallup. In addition, it proves to be a community collaborator, having becoming adept in multiple genres, including opera and ballet and working with choral groups and internationally known soloists.
As of this writing, the next season is posted on the web site www.nwsinfonietta.org, and is available for download. But I can tell you here there will be powerful piano, collaboration on the St. John Passion, homage to a Brit (including the piercingly beautiful “Lark Ascending”) and another world premiere, this one a symphony.
Season subscriptions are available for purchase at all three venues. Current subscribers have until May 31 to renew and thus secure their current seating. For more information, see the web site or call 888-356-6040.

Maggie Kelly by — March 28, 2013 in Lifestyles