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Michael, Jean and dementia: Their story

Supporting his wife Jean after her dementia diagnosis was like “looking through a telescope at something far away but not being able to see everything.”

(Editor: In this article, Michael Magee writes about the road he and his wife, Jean, traveled while she lived with dementia.)

My experience with dementia comes through my wife Jean, who was diagnosed with dementia in 2012, and then lived in a dementia care center for the last eight years of her life.

In retrospect, I could see the symptoms: Confusion, losing keys, and finally a car crash; all of this in increments. The care center became our home and I actually stayed overnight with her, had breakfast, dinner, went for walks, and became a de facto part of her life there. It never took away her or our humanity.

We went to concerts often. And the night of our last one, Gustav Holtz’ “The Planets,” we magically looked through a telescope and saw three of the moons of Jupiter.

Dementia is like that – looking through a telescope at something far away, training your eye to see, understand and make sense of what you’re observing, but not being able to see everything.

Jean and I were together for 20 years and married at the care center, four years before she passed. A simple ceremony followed by a honeymoon in Poulsbo. While we could we traveled; Portland a couple times on the train, up to White Rock, and Vancouver, B.C. I married Jean with dementia and was committed, not only as long as she had memory, but long after. My decision. It made no difference to either of us, it was just a different kind of train trip than I imagined.

When I was a teenager, my brother worked at a television station in Ohio. He was working, so another man at the station gave us a tour of the area. It was Rod Serling (screenwriter and creator of the television series “The Twilight Zone”); with dementia you’re traveling in a parallel universe.

On Jean’s last birthday, a group of her friends sat out in the backyard eating cake and melting ice cream in the sun. Jean was a poet and playwright, and we each took turns reading one of our favorite poems that she had written. As we went around the table, she clapped in delight, saying, “I like that!” It was as though we had given back her own poems as a gift for her to “remember.”

Dementia is honesty “disrobed.” It robs you of deception and self-deception, and it provides an opportunity (requoting Socrates) to “Know thyself.” Jean once said about us, “We’re the same person.”

The experience of knowing and loving someone with dementia was summed up in the words of my friend Carl Palmer, a hospice volunteer. After a difficult visit with Jean when it was clear she didn’t recognize me, Carl said, “’Always know, Michael, she may not always know who you are, but you’ll always know who she is. Always.’”

 

Michael Magee is one of the Dementia Friends in the Dementia Friendly Pierce County initiative, administered by the Dementia Services program of Lutheran Community Services Northwest and funded by a federal grant from the Administration for Community Living. Learn more at dementiafriendlypc.org or by e-mailing or calling dementiaservices@lcsnw.org and 253-272-8433.

 

CONFERENCE HAS FOUR DAYS OF FREE, ONLINE ADVICE FROM EXPERTS ON ALZHEIMER’S

Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias challenge medical personnel, professional care managers, and family caregivers.  Nearly half of all caregivers who provide help to older adults do so for someone living with some form of dementia. In the U.S., more than 6 million people suffer from Alzheimer’s, and the number is projected to grow to 12.7 million by 2050.

That and related issues will be the subject in November of the 2021 Pierce County Alzheimer’s Disease Conference, produced in partnership with Pierce County Human Services and the Health Care Providers Council of Pierce County. The virtual conference will provide information, practical skills, and inspiring stories during online presentations from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on consecutive Mondays and Wednesdays on Nov. 1, Nov. 3, Nov. 8 and Nov. 10. Participation is free, but attendees must register in advance online at www.piercecountywa.gov/alz or by calling Pierce County Aging and Disability Resources at 253-798-4600.

srmedia by — October 27, 2021 in Lifestyles
Gardeners don’t have to chill out at first frost

Frost in the forecast and a garden full of vegetables not quite ready for picking? Use some simple strategies to extend the growing season and keep enjoying garden-fresh vegetables.

Fortunately, some vegetables like cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, and Brussels sprouts tolerate frost and even taste better after a slight chill. Most of these can tolerate temperatures as low as 24 to 28 degrees Fahrenheit.

Leeks are another vegetable that thrive in cooler temperatures.  Many tolerate temperatures as low as 20 degrees. Just mound some protective mulch around the plants and continue harvesting. Leave some of your carrots, turnips, and parsnips in the ground for winter. Just cover the soil with straw or evergreen boughs after it lightly freezes.  Dig as needed or during a winter thaw. You will enjoy their wonderfully sweet flavor.

Protect frost-sensitive plants with old bed sheets and even mattress pads. Cover the plants in late afternoon and remove them as soon as the temperatures climb above freezing. Keep them handy and be ready to cover whenever frost is in the forecast.

Make it easier by using all-purpose garden fabric row covers. This spun material allows air, light, and water through while protecting the plants from frost. Loosely cover the plants and anchor the edges with stones, boards, or garden pins. You only need to remove the fabric to harvest ripe vegetables. Otherwise, it can stay in place until the vegetables stop producing or you decide it is time to end the season.

Create a high tunnel over garden beds filled with large plants. Use hoops and row covers to allow easy access for harvesting while protecting the plants. Systems like Maxi Garden Hoops stand seven feet tall and five feet wide when installed. Simply cover the set of three hoops with row cover fabric.

Cloches have long been used to jump-start the season or extend it beyond the first fall frost.  You will find a variety of shapes and sizes available. Select one large enough to cover your plants and protect them as needed. Look for those with vents to prevent plants from overheating and ones like the cool weather row cloches (gardeners.com) that allow water through while trapping the heat.

Don’t let unripe tomatoes go to waste if you are unable or unwilling to protect them from frost. Harvest any that are starting to show color before the killing frost and finish ripening them indoors. The bottom of the tomato should be greenish white or starting to color up. Store your green tomatoes in a cool (60 to 65 degrees) location to extend their storage life. Spread the tomatoes out on heavy paper or wrap them individually in newspaper so they don’t touch. They will ripen over the next few weeks. Speed up the process by moving a few tomatoes to a warm, bright location a few days before needed. Enjoy green tomatoes fried, in relish, salsa, pies or one of many more ways.

And when the season finally ends for you, start planning for next year.  Many of these same strategies can be used to jump-start the season for an earlier harvest.

 

Melinda Myers (melindamyers.com), who wrote this article, is the auth

High tunnel systems can protect vegetable plants and extend harvests in cool weather.

or of 20-plus gardening books, hosts the “How to Grow Anything” DVD series, and is a columnist and contributing editor for Birds & Blooms magazine.

srmedia by — October 7, 2021 in Lifestyles

How much have people 60 and older started or increased using technology and digital tools in order to deal with the pandemic? That’s a question that was put to 615 Americans by Senior List, an online (seniorlist.com) research team that provides consumer information for older adults. Here’s some of what was learned:

  • The use of grocery delivery or on-demand meal delivery like DoorDash has nearly doubled since the pandemic began, rising from 12 percent to 23 percent.
  • The 60-plus crowd is into TikTok, watching more of the videos than before the pandemic.
  • About 15 percent of older men use the Internet to trade stocks; 2 percent of women do.
  • COVID-19 was the biggest reason (61 percent) for increasing their use of digital or online tools.
  • 15 percent of the survey respondents said adapting to new technologies was “extremely” or “very” challenging.

Compared to their lives pre-pandemic, older adults are more likely now to engage in 13 online activities Senior List asked about, including work, shopping, and communication.

srmedia by — September 27, 2021 in Lifestyles
Six keys to a healthy brain and quality of life

Nobody ever sees their brain, but conscious efforts to keep it in shape are a key to healthy aging.

With Healthy Aging Month in September as a backdrop, an “aging expert” explains that longevity and a healthy aging process all start with the brain.

In her work with older adults, Amy Cameron O’Rourke, a professional care manager for 40 years and author of “The Fragile Years,” has found that longevity and healthy aging start with the brain. She says six things are the most effective in keeping the brain in shape, which in turn supports the best possible quality of life:

  1. Multitasking physically and mentally, including activities such as walking and talking with a friend.
  2. Staying socially engaged. Isolation is a predictor of memory loss. When you’re older, there is a higher risk of isolation and less social interaction. Staying socially engaged keeps the brain working and helps give a sense of purpose.
  3. Maintaining a healthy diet. There is a high correlation between diabetes and dementia, as well as obesity and dementia. Eating a more plant-based diet can help prevent all three.
  4. Taking care of hearing loss, a condition that is also correlated to early memory loss.
  5. Expressing and being in touch with your emotions. Anecdotally, people who don’t confront their emotions develop memory loss and decreased alertness, much more than those who are emotionally aware.
  6. Avoiding anesthesia whenever possible. Anesthesia is known to cause memory loss. When considering surgery, weigh the pros and cons. Benefits of surgery decrease after the age of 80, so it might be wise to favor memory and cognitive health over the surgery.
srmedia by — September 8, 2021 in Lifestyles