The Senior Scene

By Nick Norman

When it comes to attending therapy around the holidays, clients often fall into one of two camps:  “I’ll be fine without a session next week. It’s the holidays.”  Or, “Oh yes, I’ll definitely need a session next week. It’s the holidays.”

While the song tells us that “it’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the reality can be much more complicated. For some, the holidays can be incredibly lonely. For others, it means returning, however briefly, to old and problematic family dynamics, or even to places where unresolved trauma looms near the surface.

Whatever the holiday season may hold, there are things you can do to make the most of this time of the year.

Plan ahead.

Avoiding decisions gives the decision to others, so be proactive and choose how you’d like to spend your holidays. If you’ll be on your own, how would you like to spend the time? Grant yourself the gift of doing something fulfilling. Solitude can be a true pleasure, so think about your needs and desires, and lead with self-compassion.

While some may gather with relatives, others will gather with chosen family. Reach out to those who have earned your trust and friendship and plan a special holiday gathering. There are few things so fulfilling as sitting around a table with good food, good drink, and good souls.

If you are heading home to be with relatives, it’s still good to plan ahead. Returning to our family of origin can be extremely fulfilling, but it can also bring up a lot of difficult emotions. Think about the troublesome areas in those relationships and how you’ll manage them during your visit. A plan can keep you from being overwhelmed and reacting poorly in the heat of a conflict.

Know your boundaries and your backup plan.

Family has a knack for bringing us back to our old ways. We may tend to blur our boundaries and over-tolerate behavior from family members that we would never put up with in our daily lives.

Decide early where your boundaries are. Keep in mind that boundaries aren’t about controlling others. Instead, they are a clear definition of how you need to be treated and what you will and won’t do. Some family members may be accustomed to your lack of boundaries, so  state clearly and calmly what you need. It may be uncomfortable, but it will be worth speaking up.

You’ll also want to know your backup plan. Some people may be unwilling to respect your boundaries, so be ready to remove yourself if needed. It’s better to step away than to power-struggle, and people may come around if given time to cool down and think. If the disrespect or unkindness merits it, however, give yourself permission to leave. You don’t owe your company to anyone who mistreats you.

Savor the good.

Whether on your own, with friends, or with family the holidays are an opportunity to slow down, return to the present, and savor the good in life. Collectively, it’s been a particularly difficult few years for many of us. We should make room to honor the pain and struggle, but we should also allow ourselves to feel joy and be grateful for the good in our lives, whether big or small. Gratitude has a direct link to happiness and life satisfaction, so take the opportunity to choose positive holiday plans and let the joy sink in.

Lead with compassion.

No matter how we spend our holidays, we should lead with compassion for ourselves as well as for others. It’s easy to become overly critical or impatient, to jump to conclusions or to blame, but these things do little good. They rarely accomplish anything, and they certainly don’t leave us feeling any better. Instead, taking a deep breath and having some patience, including for ourselves, will take us further.

The holiday season is a mixed bag for many, but we can choose how we spend this time and who we spend it with. May we grant ourselves the kindness to meet our own needs without judgment and grant others a gentle word and a grateful smile.

Nick Norman is the business relationship manager at Mindful Therapy Group, a network of mental health clinicians serving Washington and Oregon.

By Jim Ko

Here in Washington and across the country, millions of seniors will get relief from a new law that will help reduce out-of-control drug prices. For the first time in decades,

After years of calling on Congress to make prescription drugs more affordable, we won the fight for Medicare to negotiate lower drug prices and help millions of seniors save money on their medications. That, in and of itself, is huge. But the new law, passed by Congress and quickly signed by President Biden, will significantly help in other ways. It will also limit the cost of insulin to $35 a month for people on Medicare and put a $2,000 annual cap on what seniors in Medicare plans will have to pay out of pocket for their medications. The new law makes shingles and other vaccines free, and it keeps the heat on drug companies by penalizing them if they raise prices higher than the inflation rate.

It’s estimated the law will save taxpayers and Medicare hundreds of billions of dollars over the next 10 years by lowering out-of-control drug prices.

This is a historic victory, and it couldn’t come at a more needed time. Americans have had to pay three times more for their medications than people in other countries pay for the same drugs. And with the impact of inflation on all of us, seniors who worked hard their entire lives, raising families, building this country and giving back to their communities, shouldn’t have to choose between filling a prescription or buying gas and groceries.

For millions of seniors, this new law is genuinely life-changing. Just ask Pat J. from Seattle. She is taking six medications that cost over $5,400 a year.

“My medications are not a luxury, they’re a necessity,” says Pat. “While we’ve been able to foot the bill so far, I could easily foresee a time when that wouldn’t be the case. And we know of so many seniors who are not as fortunate, and who are making life-altering decisions each day just to be able to afford the medications they need.”

AARP led the fight to lower drug prices for America’s seniors, and we won. Our members, activists and volunteers in Washington and across the country stood up to the big drug companies’ army of lobbyists with their massive war chest and millions of dollars in misleading advertising, and we won. Few people thought it would get done, but we did it.

As sweet as this victory is, though, the fight isn’t over. Drug companies are already spending millions to overturn the new law and stifle competition so they can drive up their record profits and keep charging Americans the highest prices in the world for the drugs they need.

AARP will keep fighting here in Washington and across the country, and we won’t back down until all Americans 50-plus can afford their medication. It’s the right thing to do, and older Americans deserve nothing less.

For more information about the how the new law affects drug prices, Medicare and more, visit www.aarp.org/rx

Jim Ko is AARP Washington’s president. 

A large majority of older adults reportedly like the idea of self-driving vehicles as a way to get around and make the most of life.

The National Council on Aging (NCOA) and Volkswagen Group of America conducted an online survey of older adults on their attitudes and perceptions about self-driving and ride hailing services, and also their thoughts about alternative transportation. Among the results: Approximately 70 percent of survey participants said they trust the services could enhance their safety, help them achieve tasks outside the home, and do the things they want to do.

About three-quarters of the surveyed seniors said they expect to use self-driving or ride-hailing technologies in the future and agreed it would help them maintain their independence.

“Technology will play a key role in addressing challenges faced by older adults who are no longer able to drive,” said Kathleen Cameron, NCOA’s senior director. “The five most important aspects for them are safety, quality of service, convenience, traffic, and overall comfort of riding in the vehicle.”

Almost 2,500 people over the age of 55, mostly from metropolitan areas, responded to the survey. Sixty-four percent were men.

According to NCOA, older adults often outlive their decision to stop driving by about 10 years for women and seven years for men. They give up their car keys usually due to declining vision, physical, and cognitive abilities, or the use of medications that impair driving. Non-driving older adults need alternative transportation to go to doctor’s appointments, shop, and engage in activities that keep them socially connected, such as attending religious services, visiting friends and family, and entertainment.

Caregivers most often provide transportation for older adults. In some parts of the country, public transportation, taxis, and ride-hailing services like Uber or Lyft may be options. But in many rural areas, those alternatives aren’t available.

In-car technology can play an important role by performing parts of the driving task, and soon, cars will become so advanced they will do the driving entirely from start to end. Self-driving taxis, Uber or Lyft, or public transit shuttles also could be a solution for older adults, say officials of NCOA, an advocacy organization for older adults.

Volkswagen, which joined NCOA in the survey, is among developers of self-driving technology.

By Mary Jo Lambert-Terry

Student loans aren’t only a burden 20-year-olds carry. Many older Americans are plagued by it. Around 9 million age 50-plus have student loan debt ($290 billion), whether for their children’s college educations or from boosting their own employment prospects over the years. With inflation hitting budgets hard, many seniors aren’t prepared to pay hundreds of dollars extra each month. Here are a few steps to take to prepare and budget:

1. Verify your loan balances with your lender.

Contact your lender and verify that the data they have for you is correct and matches your records. After years of monthly payments, many of us have likely set up an automatic-payment process and may not be keeping a close eye on our student loan debt. Without having to input our payment information each month ourselves for years, the current balance could be lower than expected. Knowing the balance is crucial to understand what you owe and is the next step in understanding what monthly payments you need to be making to pay off student loans quicker.

2. Calculate your repayment responsibility and budget properly.

Make sure your current repayment plan will fit with your budget, especially if you are on a fixed income (such as after retirement). Student loan payments are monthly. They should constantly be factored into your budget, whether you owe a hundred dollars each month or a couple hundred–especially if your income has recently changed or you’ve retired in the past few years. Whether you’ve been paying the minimum or a little more, if your finances have changed even the slightest bit, it’s important to calculate how much you can pay each month. You may be able to make a higher monthly payment than you did when you first took out the loan.

3. Refinance to lock in record low interest rates.

Interest rates have been at a record low, and you could get a much lower rate by refinancing. However, before refinancing, understand your choices and whether refinancing would be beneficial. You should also consider your financial situation. If you have a good credit score, refinancing could get you a much lower interest rate than what you’re currently paying. Refinancing can free up some extra money that can be used to pay off your student loans even quicker, without having to re-budget. However, if you’re near the end of paying off your student loans, it might not be a good idea to refinance. Ultimately, it comes down to your personal situation.

4. If needed, get into the right IBR program.

The federal government has a myriad of Income Based Repayment (IBR) plans or programs to help borrowers of all financial backgrounds. These programs will look at your income and decide what an appropriate student loan payment would be each month. They’re beneficial for borrowers with a large amount of debt and a low monthly income (such as during retirement). After 25 years in an IBR program, your remaining student-loan debt is forgiven. Typically, when you apply and are accepted to a program, your payments will be very little, and in some cases you could even owe nothing each month. However, it will likely take longer for you to pay off your student loans and you could be paying more on the loan over time. Consider first what other options you have before applying for these programs.

Mary Jo Lambert-Terry is a business and managing partner with Yrefy, a lender that specializes in refinancing private student loans. 

STUDENT LOAN FORGIVENESS

The Biden administration will cancel up to $10,000 in federal student loan debt for those earning under $125,000 per year, or $250,000 per year for married couples who file taxes jointly. Pell grant recipients or undergraduates with the most significant financial need will be eligible for double that amount in loan forgiveness, according to the administration’s plan that was announced in August. The forgiveness is unlikely to extend to those with private or school loans.

Apart from extending the pause on loan repayments until the end of the year, the administration said in April that pre-pandemic federal student loan defaulters will also automatically be put in good standing, offering those struggling with payments a fresh start.

About 47 percent of Washington college graduates had student loans as of 2020, with an average debt of $23,993, and 16 percent hold private loans, according to The Institute of College Access and Success, an advocacy organization.

Administration officials expect eligible loan holders can start applying in October for loan forgiveness.